Whatever works best for you!

It’s pretty amazing using Twitter.  Since Twitter can work via SMS messaging, the Iranian government can’t shut down the communications network that has popped up to support the unrest revolution that is happening.   Go take a look at http://iran.twazzup.com/ and, if you are on Twitter, don’t forget to make your icon green in support of Iran Freedom by visiting http://helpiranelection.com/

(photo courtesy of Rob & Ale Photostream)

My experience in Evangelical Church circles had been a mixed blessing on social justice.   On one hand there was a tremendous life of the church on Sunday. Vibrant and moving worship.  Excellent preaching and teaching.   Strong support for most members. Miraculous answer to prayer at times.  And effective children’s ministry.  But the lack of actual practice of Micah 6:8, the social justice piece of the gospel, was troubling:

6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord really wants from you: He wants you to promote justice, to be faithful, and to live obediently before your God (NET Bible)

It’s such a big part of the Gospel I often wondered, “shouldn’t we have more attention on that piece?”

So the headline “New studies demonstrate welcoming congregations are more active on social justice and LGBT advocacy” really caught my eye, and the results even more so.  Check these out:

• More than half of clergy in welcoming congregations reported that the welcoming process helped their congregation to witness and act on other social justice issues. In describing this effect, one welcoming pastor said the church is more active in “the plight of the oppressed and marginalized” because of the church’s welcoming process.
• “One of the most exciting findings from this study is the direct connection between being a welcoming congregation and involvement in other social justice issues,” says the Rev. Rebecca Voelkel, Institute for Welcoming Resources and faith work director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. “Our surveys demonstrate that the welcoming process makes a meaningful difference. Welcoming congregations are on the front lines in economic justice, homelessness, racial justice, immigration and other important areas of religious witness.”

Now granted, the survey does focus on churches who are welcoming and affirming of the LGBT community already so perhaps there is some bias.  I wonder what the effects would be on a broader range of churches.  Still, I found the connection between a church being welcoming and affirming and being more open to helping the oppressed and down trodden unexpected.  Perhaps opening our hearts to one group makes cold hearts thaw towards others.

You can read the press release on the study at The Task Force’s website here.
If you’ve got enough coffee left, you can read the whole study at the Institute for Welcoming Resources website here.

Oh and if  you are in Massachusetts, a great welcoming church for Christians is First Presbyterian of Waltham.   There are others too, if you do a search on you favorite search engine under “Open and Affirming” you should see a list.  Keshet is a good choice to find resources if you are Jewish.

(Graphic image courtesy of Bemky and used under Creative Commons License)

The hearing date July 14, 2009 and you can submit your testimony by July 10th by clicking to MTPC’s site here.  But alot has been going on to get us to this point and let’s hear from just three of our community on this.

Back on April 7th, 2009 MTPC led a lobby day that had large attendance and many key speakers. To say it was a moving experience is an understatement. While the facts of the story have been covered at Pam’s House Blend, on a post at MTPC, on a post at the Interfaith Coalitions Website, and finally at Boston’s Bay Window article here, what about putting another face to the story? Well, that’s just what Michelle, Paula and Rebecca did, while enjoying salad and calzone together after the lobby day. Let’s listen in to their discussion; the results may enlighten you to a more human side of this story:

- One question we have to ask each other (queue diet cokes being sipped) is, why did we attend the lobby days in the first place?

• Michelle: While I’m not particularly politically active, I find myself very motivated to do what little bit I can to help fight for trans rights. I’ve been fortunate enough so far that my path has gone pretty smoothly, but I realize that this could turn in an instant, and with our current laws could leave me without much recourse. I have so many wonderful friends in the trans community that I am happy to do this one small thing to help.
• Paula: I attended Transgender Lobby day for the first time in April because as a transgendered person I am always concerned about my safety when I go out alone as well as for the safety of my friends in the transgender community when we go out in a group.a
• Rebecca: Like Michelle, I’m not really politically active. I’m a conservative really. But for me, this whole topic hit close to home when I lost a mid-level management position due to discrimination for bring transgender. Suddenly, my eyes were open that even in high tech, transgender people were at risk regardless of if they were doing a great job or not. That really angered me.

- I think we all had different expectations going into this, but, what did you hope to accomplish?

• Michelle: I wanted to make the issue real for my state representative by spending some time with her in person.
• Paula: Because of the stigma out there in society we transgendered persons have to be very careful. There are many persons who accept and respect us for who we are but there are others who do not and would think nothing of using violence against us because of simply who we are.  Ask a gay person about hate and violence. They will concur with what I am talking about. Gays and lesbians are now covered under hate crimes legislation. It took a long time for this to happen but society finally realized gays and lesbians are people like you and me and deserve protection under the law like anyone else. We transgendered persons only ask for the same protection everyone should have under the law. Violence against anyone for no reason should not be tolerated.
• Rebecca: My reps have all signed on, so at one level, I just wanted to thank them. So I made little gift bags filled with chocolates and a cute card that said, “thanks for supporting us”. It’s a small gesture but one that I hope let them know their support meant alot to us.But, my other hope in attending was to have dialogue with my reps and others who may have never met a transperson. To show them we weren’t all that different.

- [between bites of wonderful Ceaser Salad comes another question] Was this your first time at this or had you attended before?

• Michelle: This was my second time. I participated in the first Mass Transgender Lobby Day in 2007.
• Paula: This was my maiden voyage in this.
• Rebecca: This was my second time as well. I attended in 2007 too. I think at that point in my life I was still trying to figure out how to latch my bra correctly but I knew this was important so I went.

- So, what were your first impressions?

• Michelle: I’m just perpetually impressed by Gunner’s leadership, and what he is able to accomplish. I found the first lobby day to be an incredible event, but this one topped it in every way. It was great to be sitting right in the center of the State House, with so many inspiring speakers addressing the challenges that we all face.I forget his name - the African American co-sponsor of the legislation. He blew me away. First, he melted my heart with his warm smile and warm welcome to the crowd. Then he got me riled up as he drew comparisons between our current struggle for protection of our rights with that of African Americans in the 60s.
• Paula: [quietly munching on her calzone, deep in thought]
• Rebecca: I was completely surprised and delighted at the support we received. Particularly from the faith community. What a great group of preachers; unafraid of being men and women of faith, and unashamed to stand up to say that discrimination of transgender people is wrong. That really had a big impact on me.

- What were the results of some of your conversations with our representatives and senators?

• Michelle: I was thrilled with how our conversation went with Representative Polito. She seemed to show sincere interest in starting to understand who we are and the challenges we face. She mentioned that we were the first trans people she had ever (knowingly) met. This is why I pushed so hard to get face-to-face communication with her - I figured that without knowing the human side of the transgendered rights issues, it would be just too easy for her to dismiss it as some left-wing issue. It will be a long effort to get support from reps such as her, but it seems totally worth our time to at least help her understand our interests. Probably the best part of our chat was being joined by Becki and Paula, who are both Republican (as is Rep. Polito). They were able to help make a connection that I could never make with her, since my political views are so different from hers.I was disappointed that I was the only constituent who visited my rep on the lobby day. While she listened openly, I realized that as far as she is concerned right now, this is an issue that only effects one member of her constituency. I really hope that we can get more residents of her district to reach out to her.
• Paula: My first and only encounter with a representative was with one who was a Republican. I don’t remember her name [ed: Representative Polito] but my friends Michelle, Becki and I had a lengthy conversation with her. She listened to us intently. I think for this representative it was her first look into the life of a transgendered person. I watched the expressions on her face closely.  When Becki and I told her we were married and had children and were Evangelical Christians there was a look of surprise on her face.  Michelle told this representative of her life as a transgendered person being married with a young child and a professional business person in the community.  I don’t think this representative ever met a transgendered person before our visit or at least one she was aware of.  I could see her eyes open wide because now maybe for the first time in her life she got to see what transgender is.  She saw the faces of three real people who live, work, pray and love just like everyone else.I don’t know how she will vote on the Hate Crimes Bill but I bet the next time she is out in public she will see people in a new light.
• Rebecca: One result that almost moved me to tears was the response from Senator Karen Spilka’s staff. When they heard my story about issues I had faced their immediate response was, “call us next time, we will help you”.   That was so empowering.The other result was the conversation with Representative Polito that Michelle, Paula and I had. I loved the look on her face when she said, “Well, I don’t really know much about your world, I’m just working here at the state, taking care of the kids and so on”. When we told her about ourselves she was truly surprised. I’m not sure what she thought of us before, but afterwards, I can say we gave her a new perspective!

As we finished up our chat, slipped our dirty dishes into the garbage and got ready to head home, Paula had one last thing to say to finish up our roundtable discussion, Paula capped our discussion by saying, “Even though we are transgendered we are people too!  That is all we ask is to be treated like people and be protected under the law as all citizens are entitled to”.

Amen sister!

Friday night commuting is a nightmare so I had to think about it for, oh, 32 seconds.

“Yeah sure I’ll go this will be fun”.   And so we attended and saw these two amazing folk singing women:

• Amy Campbell
• Natalia Zukerman

Holy COW were they good.  And so now the brief review…since as usual I am running late!   And speaking of running late, getting to Cambridge from the South Shore was only 2.5 hours worth of commute on a Friday night.  Talk about sucking.  But the ride was oh so worth it.

And of course, even walking in Cambridge I got lost.  I’m sure I looked like a tourist, eyes squinting, walking up one street after another in Cambridge, asking directions and only by accident stumbling into Club Passim.  But find it I did.

The food at Passim is great.   The restaurant that is co-located with them is called Veggie Planet.   Seeing that I’m on the Cavewoman diet and actually losing weight this fare was right on target for my palate.   We had the Caeser Salad on some kind of veggie pizza thing.  I was good and had water to drink.   And it was very good.   The post-salad coffee was good too: robust, dark and soothing.  And the wait staff was friendly and smiled.  And for once in the past month it actually was not raining in Massachusetts…Halleluijah!

Amy was the opener (starter?) and she was the more brooding and quiet of the two in her style.  An excellent voice with terrific lyrics, Amy, who had been enjoying the kind hospitality of Toronto Pearson’s Airport earlier in the day (having spent alot of time there in the past I can tell ya it’s not so bad BUT 6 hours plus in any airport will make you want to go into a coma), literally got off the plane and into Passim and was there crooning away.  She’s terrific kind coffee swillers so have a peak at her site here http://www.amycampbell.ca/ and enjoy!

Natalia, a friend of my friend Denise (so now I have another friend who has famous friends, not bad!) was her own genre. First, this woman can PICK an guitar. I thought she had like 5 instruments on stage not just one and she was fabulous in making her guitar do things that I didn’t know you could with a guitar.  Her vocal range is incredible and her songs, even the sad ones, are very uplifting.   She’s got a great sense of humour too.   I’d highly recommend getting her music or taking in her act if you can.  You can read all about Natalia here: http://www.nataliazukerman.com/

The night was terrific.  Many thanks to my gal pal Denise for inviting me out to share her love for folk music.   She took the train in from the South Shore and, bizarrely, met neighbors at Passim.  How weird is that.   Denise is growing by leaps and bounds lately in her life so a big shout out of love to ya gal! …. Both Denise and I were thinking of Sonia whilst we were folkin’ out at Passim and Denise told me Sonia was out protesting (?)  Okay Sonia if you are reading this what were you doing, exactly? …. Whilst dining our friend June text’d in to say she was still buried at work (on a Friday night?  I thought I was the only geek doing that?) so a big Beck’s Cafe HUG and MUG to our gal June; the hardest working, rock mama executive I know.  By the by, June is a big supporter of Fenway Health and she tells me that her recent tour of their new facility was amazing, impressive and welcoming.  So hop on over there too if you’ve got some coffee left in your mug

You can see the promotional video here: Western MA a Place to Work

BEHAVING like “one of the boys” to get ahead at work may not be the best strategy for women. A study had found that alpha-females are more likely to suffer sexual harassment.

Women who display what many regard as traditional male traits - such as assertiveness, independence and ambition - are more often the targets of sexual harassment than “feminine” women, the Canadian research has found. The situation is worst in workplaces dominated by men, where women with so-called masculine personalities - described in the study as “uppity” - suffered more than twice the harassment of other women.

Of course this begs the question, what if a woman is simply more masculined traited would her acting more stereotypically feminine get her someplace or would that be seen as non-stereo typical too?

The report goes on to say that:

“The more women deviated from traditional gender roles - by occupying a ‘man’s’ job or having a ‘masculine’ personality - the more they were targeted,” Dr Berdahl said. “Although having a masculine personality would seem to help employees fit into male-dominated work environments, having such a personality appears to have hurt the women in this study.”

But why is this? Accroding to Dr. Berdahl, it appears that sexual harrassment is not so much about sex it’s about punishing gender role deviance.

You can find the full report at Pscynet here or if your cheap (like we are at The Cafe) go here for the summary.

There’s a good bit of information in it about sectors that are being stimulated:

• Money has been released by HUD for energy efficieny projects (maybe now is the time to start a small scale home improvement company?)
• Wind Energy had a big bump up in funding
• Big-money transportation projects were announced in Maryland, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, California, and Colorado (perhaps the construction firms there are hiring?)
• There is a $4 million piece going to the Workforce Investment Act (WIA), which includes funding for adult employment and training activities and training for jobs in high-growth and emerging industry sectors.

Read all about it at Yahoo Hot Jobs here: http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-stimulus_job_watch-794

The Association for Gender Research, Education, Academia and Action (AGREAA) supports those who enrich the understanding of gender and sexuality by providing community space dedicated to the discussion of gender, professional development opportunities, and increased access to information.

One of their first projects was the very interesting, Trans-Academics.org, “a place where people of all genders can discuss gender theory, the trans community and its various identities, both as a part of the academic world and day-to-day life.”

And AGREAA now has an award under their bonnet, the Richard L. Schlegel National Legion of Honor Awards, awarded to “recognizes individuals living in the United States who have exhibited outstanding leadership and significantly contributed to the dignity and freedom of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people”.   Dr. Schlegal was a pioneer in GLBT rights.  You can read a bit more about him and the award at American University’s site here.

The new one is at The Brewery 284 Amory Street Jamaica Plain MA 02130 (phone 617.524.3740).  This Friday, is the first Dyke Night at The Milky Way so that’s even more good since they donate 25%+ of Dyke Night profits to GLBT causes.

• Read The Bill @ http://readthebill.org/ is about a grassroots campaign to require “Congress to post all bills online for 72 hours before they are debated. That gives members of Congress - and you - three days to read legislation and consider how it could potentially affect each of us in our daily lives.”
• Open Congress @ http://www.opencongress.org/ “brings together official government data with news articles, blog coverage, and public comments to give you the real story behind what’s happening in Congress. OpenCongress is a free, open-source, non-profit, and non-partisan web resource with a mission to help make Congress more transparent and to encourage civic engagement.
• Earmark Watch @ http://earmarkwatch.org/ is a site dedicated to looking at congressional earmarks from 2008 and links to another site who is doing the same work for earmarks on bills for 2009.

Reading these changed my mind that perhaps, for once, there is a group that cares about how our government is working for it’s citizens, for the people and by the people, regardless of political affiliation.  Now that really is a ray of sunshine.  You can read all about The Sunshine Foundation and the many projects they are doing to keep government accountable to the people by clicking to their site here.

I know, I know, none of us really cares if we look hot or not, if our waistline bulges, if our hair grays, it’s all about being serious about who we are, standing up for others rights, being true to ourselves …. but you have to admit, “Married … With Children” mom Katey Sagal looks HOT at 55 and we’d all LOVE to look like that.

Okay Katey, fess up your secrets to Beck’s Cafe’s “very serious” cofee swilling readers 

Joy is the defending 80-and-over champion in the New York City Marathon.  You read that right, 80 and over.  She’s so good and so fit she increased the intensity of her training when she thought she might be slipping.  I had no idea the 80 and over bracket was so competitive!   You can read her inspiring story and see her training even at the Wall Street Journal at this link here

I think Joy’s story draws me in since she so inspires me as does Elaine Mansfield’s story of her transformation through strength training at age 55.   Both women show it’s never too late.  It’s never too late to take control back of your own personal health if you want to.   That is quite and inspiration for me and, if you read their stories, for you too I hope.

Now to get the coffee ready for tomorrow morning

“I have some good news and some, well, less than good news…statistically speaking of course”.

Those of us tech-marketing weenies looked about and said to ourselves, “wow, even WE didn’t understand that but it was good; we didn’t know this guy was that good at creating copy”. But he continued.

And we all got kinda puzzled seeing charts, graphs, scattergrams, hockey stick graphs, deep valley graphs and then realized…oh crap we really ARE in trouble!

My first thought was, so typical, “My freakin’ hair removal budget down the drain”. Said through clenched teeth under my breath my blonde hair’d friends words echoing through my ears, “The hair Becki, it’s always about THE HAIR”. Many of our kind readers will remember her refrain, so captured in “Hair Removal Horror” … and here it was again. But my fretting and dark clouds soon had a silver lining as I learned about workshare. And that was a treat.

Share my job? Oh hell ya! I’m all about that and so I really DID feel joyful upon learning that my company would join many others in New England to spread the hurt a bit and help us all keep our jobs to make it through the tough times.

Jo Landers, President of Jo Lander’s Business Services, captures the essence of this program best on her site, when she writes,

The WorkShare Program, run by the Massachusetts Department of Unemployment Assistance (formerly the DET), is a way to ‘partially’ layoff employees during a slowdown, without having to let them go or shut your business down completely.

The program is a boon on many levels for companies who are being assaulted by the difficult business climate. Among the many benefits are:

1. The company putting Workshare into place doesn’t lose it’s super skilled labor.
2. The employees aren’t hitting the bricks to the unemployment line, they are working, just a little less for a little less pay
3. Workshare payments count against a company’s state unemployment account but because a company is paying only partial benefits, the impact is much less
4. Workers (like me) do see a paycut, but, if one were to be laid off, the reduction would be significantly larger and in this economy who knows for how long.
5. Employees continue to keep their health care and other benefits during a Workshare arrangement

You can read Jo’s excellent summary on the Massachusetts Workshare Program at her professional services site here. You can read all about it from the employees and the employer’s perspective at mass.gov at this link here.

So, if the firm you work is having some challenges keeping the ship aright, suggest a Workshare program. Everyone sharing a little can keep the boat afloat giving everyone valuable time to make things right for the long term.

(Photo courtesy of the Wisconsin Historical Society’s Flickr Photostream)

How’s that for a quote!

You can read the full article here, “Gender Differences: The Role of Institutions” but here are some snippets that might make you situp and take notice:

• “The psychological literature suggests that women and men may differ in ways that affect economic decisions such as their self-perception of ability”
• “Women may not only be less certain about their abilities but also more risk averse, and less willing to explore and test their abilities.”
• “the authors predict that reducing the expectation of up-front commitment may especially help high performing women to move into harder and more challenging tasks”.

(Photo courtesy of SillyDog Photos, used under Creative Commons License)

Under the Tuscan Sun was on again here in my town!

I so love this movie.

I reviewed this movie back in September 2006 and it still remains one of my favorite movies.

Of late I’ve been seeing more darker films like Batman, The Dark Knight and Watchmen.  Both excellent films but, in both, it’s hard not to come away feeling so torn that the hero has to be ruined and in some cases killed.

I started to feel a little claustrophobic frankly about life.

But Under the Tuscan Sun always makes me cry; not tears of sadness but those of a hopeful heart that has been touched and somehow reawakened to who I am as a woman, providing for others from a full heart and hopeful for the future of those near me.

You completely owe it to yourself to see Under the Tuscan Sun.  You’ll feel brighter after you do

So now the work begins to actually get the bill passed so now we can all join in the fun of lobbying

I remember being at The Neighborhood one time and I saw Gunner there. We were chatting about the whole ENDA fiasco. And I said to Gunner, “You know, I think we have to do this at the local level” and he agreed.

Of course MTPC has been making the grassroots local level work happen for years like no one’s business. He and the entire MTPC team have done a great job rallying all of us to do something locally to improve our lot. So how can you get involved?

There’s a lobby day planned on April 7 and some training planned too ahead of time. So you don’t sit like I did in front of my State Rep saying, “yeah this is good you should support this”. I eventually got my message down and actually on message thanks to MTPC’s coaching. You can too! Rummage on over to MTPC’s web site to learn how you can help: MTPC Ways To Help

While that may seem self-evident, it’s a major deal for a church like Willow Creek to admit it.

This happened during a meeting that none other than Julie Nemeck attended at Willow Creek. You might remember Dr. Nemecek, she’s both an experienced pastor and educator who was booted from her job in Michigan for being trans.

Here’s a quote from the story on her blog:

For our part, we were surprised and pleased that Willow Creek’s own 30-year study of homosexuality has led them to conclude that: (1) Sexual orientation is unchangeable. and (2) Sexual orientation should not keep someone from being received into their church. They acknowledged that 6 of the 7 verses used to condemn homosexuality are irrelevant; really referring to other things.

You can read the full story at Julie’s blog at her story, “Soulforce, Willow Creek and Me“.

Their story is pretty amazing and really goes back to something that we miss sometimes as Christians and as transgender people: God isn’t so much concerned with who we are but in our resultant behavior; our character. Are any of our behavior Christlike or not? Are our behaviors and actions showing we are redemptive and healing in our relationships and still uncompromising, and, though very much imperfect, disciples?

For me, it’s important to remember my behaviors are a reflection of my individual heartfelt desire to “give back”, in a sense, to Christ for His sacrifice for me on the cross and my personal acceptance of His sacrifice for my sins. My behaviors can’t earn me God’s love but they can show how much I love Him by loving others.

It’s easy to forget that in Jesus’s day, He was considered an out there radical bent on destroying the government and the powers of the day. He was considered a major league weirdo and threat! And though He was a radical, even a surface read of the Gospels shows you how redemptive and healing His behaviors were. What a great example He left us.

You can learn about SoulForce at this linkie love here. Photos of this historic meeting are at SoulForce photos here.

For me that was a loss.

I had always been kinda touchy feely. I loved hugging people in church and welcoming them in. Such a nice thing to do. Nothing says “Jesus loves you” like a warm human accepting you unconditionally and hugging you.  When it was unclear what I was to my fellow parishoners, my soft hugs were met with a more professional, “at a distance” kind of “thing”. Not quite a hug and not quite a put off. More ambiguous than that. Oh well. Jesus was in there someplace I’m sure but I darn missed that hug!

I started reclaiming my huggability when I came into the transgender community and when genetic women accepted me. That was a nice suprise.

My first hug from a genetic woman who both knew about me and accepted me was quite the experience. She said, “Oh I’m pleased to meet you Rebecca” and then like a big cloud I was embraced and I embraced her. I felt normal! Like, wow, who woulda thunk it. I thought, for a long while, I’d become part of the NLG, “New Leper Generation”. Not nearly as trendy as the Pepsi Generation or being a Gen-X’r.

The best hugger by far is Mara Keisling. Mara is the Executive Director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. So she’s a mover and a shaker.  And, generally speaking, you don’t get great hugs from a  mover and shaker.  It’s just not becoming.

I saw Mara at First Event, one day. I’ll never forget that day. I welcomed Mara with a big smile and a ‘Hi Mara” and she opened her arms and gave me a huge welcoming hug. It was like someone had put their arms around me and gave me enough comfort that life would be okay for like 3 days. Now THAT was a hug.

First Event 2009 was a love/hug fest. So many wonderful women. So many teary, “oh I love you’s” so many hugs. I thought I was going to get a rash from hugging so many of my old and new friends. It was great. I talked to my therapist about it, she said, “so you really got some nurturing”. Mmmm now that’s a great word. I felt nurtured. I was learning a hug could be a poweful thing and I’d forgotten that.

I’d encourage everyone to hug each other warmly. Think about how we could reduce our need for foreign oil! And don’t be shy in public with them hugs, “what will people think, my goodness…” nah, they will be so jealous they aren’t getting a nice warm embrace and being let know they are welcome to be who they are, right where they are, right as they are.