January 2010

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MA Transgender Equality Lobby Days 1/21/10, 2PM-5PM, Nurses Hall in MA State House

January 21, 2010 in Local Buzz by Rebecca | 2 comments

For those who can free up the time, today is Massachusetts Transgender Equality Lobby Day. The event is led by MTPC and runs from 2PM-5PM. Participants will meet at Nurses Hall in the Massachusetts State House.

You get more details at MTPC’s announcement here:
http://www.masstpc.org/legislation/lobbyday10.shtml

The importance of todays lobbying effort is that our transgender equality bill is stuck in the MA judiciary commitee and needs a little push. If you can’t attend today (as I cannot) an email or call to your representative would help too.

Harvard Business Review: When Steve Becomes Stephanie

January 20, 2010 in Gender by Rebecca | No comments

Harvard Business Review is about the most conservative of business journals.  Known for excellent writing and with useable information, their voice carries weight.  This is true for management practice and for dealing with the issue of having a transgender employee transitioning in the workplace.

The December 2008 issue of the Harvard Business Review features a case study, “When Steve Becomes Stephanie” in which they cover the issue of an employee in gender transition.  The intro is free but the actual study is $6.50 and downloadable from HBR.

Dr. Jillian Weiss, who was the keynote speaker at First Event Transgender Conference, has a nice review of the case study and some additional thoughts as well.  You can see her take at The Bilerico Project: “December Harvard Business Review Features “When Steve Becomes Stephanie”

At Beck’s Cafe we covered an earlier note about gender transition at Harvard Business Review, you can click to that write up here at Beck’s Cafe at the article, “Harvard Business Review and Transgender Workplace Issues“

Female Executive Coach Gives Her Insights on Successful Characteristics of Leadership

January 19, 2010 in Workin' Girl by Rebecca | No comments

Martha Carlson, an executive coach for women, writing in Sales and Marketing Magazine, has a great piece on:

Leading women: The women who rise to the top of your organization in the coming years may have a few things in common.

She has a list of characteristics that women (and really men too) will need in place in our own lives to be effective at leading at work; how many of these characteristics ring true?

  • Authenticity: Martha defines this as a woman, “Being self-aware and doing something about it. This trait allows a woman to understand at a very base level her strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears.”  And then taking this trait and leveraging it into her life at work.
  • Fearlessness: Martha feels this trait is the opposite of being fearful.  She further notes that those who act out of fear act in an unbalanced way that compromises our ability to be effective.  Fearless women focus on what they want to achieve and very often achieve it.
  • Focus: Here Martha tosses aside the notion that as women, we have an unlimited ability to multi-task and be equally effective across all our tasks.   Martha says that such practices must stop and that only focus will result in achieving the results we want in our lives.
  • Energy:  Finally Martha points out the to do anything women need to take care of themselves, “working longer hours, compromising sleep, and depleting our wellness. We must know and attend to what brings us energy in the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual sense.”

Four very interesting characteristics women will need for the coming years.  If you’ve got any coffee left in your mug, mouse on over to the full article at Sales and Marketing Magazine by clicking to  “Leading Women“

A&A Laser, Electrolysis & Skin Care Express Facial Special

January 19, 2010 in Local Buzz, Our Bodies Ourselves by Rebecca | No comments

Linda, at A&A Laser, Electrolysis and Skin Care is my hair removal savior.  She’s been zapping and electrocuting me for some time and anything she does to me, beats my hair removal horror of 2006.   But aside from the loving torture I so willingly subject myself too she always has the light touch too with facials.

A&A, in Newton MA, is offering Express Facials now, for a limited time, for $30 for 30 minutes!   I asked what the catch was and here’s the details on what they’ll do for your face:

  • Cleanse
  • Tone
  • Moisturize
  • Exfoliate
  • Teach you how to take care of your skin

For $30 that’s a great deal.   If you make an appointment, please tell them Becki sent you.   Beck’s Cafe doesn’t make any money from this and you won’t get a better deal than the $30, but it’ll be nice for her to know that some of us do really listen to her suggestions to take care of our skin!

Post First Event Blues

January 18, 2010 in Coffee Chat by Rebecca | 4 comments

We had so much fun and learned so much at First Event 2010. About ourselves and about each other. I hugged till my arms hurt, smiled till my cheeks cramped, and loved the pink cloud and blue bedrock of our community. So many highlights it’s hard to process them all. But now that the party is over and we all get back to other priorities a let down can sometimes happen. This is true particularly if you’re newly out of the closet and if First Event was your first or among your first public venues.

You might get bummed as the days progress this week. So here are some tips others have found that can help make life a little less gray.

(1) Look: Did you get a photo of yourself at FE10? Not a glam photo per se, just any photo while you were presenting as you. Look at yourself. It’s not narcissistic it’s like looking at a mirror. Sometimes, when our inside and outsides don’t match and your feeling dysphoric, looking at a photo of yourself can be a nice reminder that who you are inside is who you are outside. This can be a real help for you to get your feet on the ground.

(2) Chat: Friends. You need ‘em and you need to talk with them. Rekindling the memories can be extremely helpful to laugh and get life back on the lighter side when you feel blue as you get further away from your fun and meaningful time at First Event. So chat with your friends DO NOT go back into a shell or into your closet. This is not healthy for you. Virtually, you can chat at TCNE’s Yahoo Group or another good place is at Pink Essence on their terrific chat line.  The Transgendered Planet is another good one.  These are very safe spaces. Talk on the phone with someone you exchanged phone numbers with.  Process your feelings! You need it.

(3) Plan: Your next time out. That’s right. You need to get out and see people. There are many transgender conferences both small and large throughout the U.S.  TCNE’s “TG Conference List” is updated monthly for you to find a conference close to you. And there is likely a support group near you in your own city or town or within an hour or two so you can go out and feel safe and not exposed.  Tiffany Club, the sponsors of First Event, would welcome you if you can make it to their offices in Waltham, MA.  But if they are too far away, IFGE is a great resource to find such places and TCNE has a list as well.

(4) Give: Give back; that’s right, even if it was your first time out you can give back to move forward causes that effect others. And in doing so you give yourself a big emotional boost, banish those blues and help others. What a triple play! There are many transgender rights actions happening all around us, from the national ENDA bill to Massachusetts Transgender Civil Rights Bill (H.1728/S1687). There are many womens issues you could involve yourself in as well, from helping those who are the victims of domestic violence, to womens health issues, to women in shelters (many times with their children). Finally, are there any other trans-persons near you who are homeless or out of a job or who knows what? Reach out to them in some way to help them out. We may not always agree with each other, but we do need to support each other.

This isn’t fantasy, it’s your life..so live it, have fun and if you get the blues, remember to LOOK – CHAT – PLAN – GIVE!

First Event Transgender Conference

January 15, 2010 in Coffee Chat by Rebecca | 2 comments

Today is day two of First Event Transgender Conference!   I’ll be there today and Saturday and hope to meet some of our readers, friends, frenemies and other assorted cast of characters.  By way of disclaimer, I’ve been on the planning committee for First Event for the past three years and this year I’m in an advisory role/webmistress.   I might actually get to see a few workshops over the next two days  :)

And, for those of you interested in this topic, at 11Am I’ll be speaking, along with Gunner Scott, Michelle Madison and Paula Howard on Transgender Rights on a panel called, “The Unlikely Activist”.

Also, if you are not going to the Fashion Show, come join me, Arjay, Michelle, Nancy, Paula, Jamie, and a host of others for an informal community dinner in the Marriott’s Restaurant!  We’d love to have you at our table.

The Envelope Please…Beck’s Cafe Proud Recipient of a Major Award!

January 15, 2010 in Coffee Chat, Uncategorized by Rebecca | No comments

Well dear readers the time has come for which you’ve all been waiting, with bated breath no doubt!  Well wait no more for Beck’s Cafe is the proud recipient of …….

Many sincere thanks to Staci Lana at Femulate for nominating us!

There are a few rules of course that come with our award, first, yours truly, Chief Barrista, has to:

  1. Thank the person who nominated me: Thank you so much Staci!
  2. Copy the award and place it on my blog: See column to your right
  3. Link to the nominator’s site: Femulate is in our blog roll (please do visit her scrumptuous reading)
  4. List seven interesting things about myself: Always a chore but here they are:
    1. For many years I taught Sunday school for ages 5 to 8
    2. My first “portable” computer was the original Compaq Computer
    3. I’m a musical omnivore but at the top of my list are Blues, Jazz, Classical and House Music
    4. I truly love shopping at Kohl’s and on Newbury Street
    5. Sushi is one of my passions
    6. My favorite part of the Bible is the Letter to the Phillipians though living it is more of a challenge than reading it
    7. I once traveled around the United States for two months
  5. Nominate seven bloggers that you find beautiful. Here are my nominees for the Beautiful Blogger Award (in alphabetical order):
    1. Amy at AmyNews.com
    2. Jamie at I Am Transgendered!
    3. Kellie at Kellie’s Web Log
    4. Mona at Thoughts on Transgender
    5. Sonia at Sonia Keys
    6. Zoe at A.E. Brain
    7. Nancy at NancyWichmann

And so with that we’ll take our new found awardism forward to more blogging, writing and mocha-coffee drinking :)

Ack! Beck’s Cafe Hacked

January 6, 2010 in Coffee Chat by Rebecca | No comments

Well we haven’t been around much since Beck’s Cafe got hacked.  Someone came in via our ATOM feed, nabbed our password apparently and shut us down for a bit.  Big KUDOS to my host provider A Small Orange though!  They suspended my account to keep the other servers safe, then let me know right away that I had a problem I had to deal with.  They worked around my time needs and together we got it done!

So, now to perk some fresh post including an award Beck’s Cafe was honored with to start 2010!   We were mentioned in Spirit Magazine back in 2007 as one of Boston’s Blogs To Read but this recent award is very special.  Look for our next post to learn why :)