February 2007

They (whoever “they are”) say that the only thing that you can be sure of are death and taxes. Well, now there’s a bit more to fear on the tax side. From the fiends at The fiends at the Inquirer have discovered that revenuers can now use Google Earth to detect those of you defrauding your various governments of their hard sought tax dollars. As seen in the Inquirer,

A PROVINCIAL revenue agency down in Argentina is using Google Earth Pro to find tax dodgers. With this approach, the taxman for the Buenos Aires province detected 1184030 square feet of undeclared property.

If it weren’t enough to actual find the deadbeat properties, there are a few more tricks the eneterprising taxmen can employ:

A list of alleged debtors is published by the provincial Public Revenue Service on the web, but as is usual in him, he pressed for more. Google’s Earth Pro subscription allows the agency to import site plans and property lists, and export high-quality images. It also allows to transfer “up to 2,500 locations by address or geospatial coordinates from a spreadsheet” and includes measurement tools -square feet, mile, acreage, and the like- by point and clicking on the screen.

Ah, so what you may say as you quaff down another espresso. Well the “so what” is that other governments IRS Agents will likely pick up on this little convenience and add it as a tool in their auditor’s briefcase. Look up, the Taxman Cometh.
You can read of this diabolical development for dollars at The Inquirer by visiting them at this link here.

There’s a few generally accepted things you can guess you should not do in while driving in your car, among them:

• Never clean some freshly caught fish whilst driving in you car
• Be sure not to apply eye makeup and drag race down a major highway
• When approaching a large puddle of unknown depth after a flash rainstorm, never hope that your car is either tall enough or the puddle not too deep.

Finally, do not use your laptop computer while drivingin your car. Apparently a gentleman was driving down the wrong side of the road while using his laptop, perhaps he was blogging? In any event, the gentleman was a computer teacher and his four door sedan collide with a Hummer. The couple in the Hummer escaped with some bruises, the computer the chap in the car was using was fine and still operating after the crash. The computer using teacher died though.

You can read the reports at CBS news here or at The Inquirer here.

It’s Monday afternoon, admit it, YOU want to be home with a big plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies in front of you. Instead your at work. And your at work reading Beck’s Cafe.

Okay, how about some riddles to get your brain back in gear?

The Riddles

1. What happened in 1961 and will not happen again until 6009?
2. Whats full of holes but still holds water?
3. You have a dime and a dollar, you buy a dog and a collar, the dog is a dollar more than the collar, how much is the collar?
4. Johnny’s mother had four children. The first was April, the second was May, and the third was June. What was the name of her fourth child?
5. There was an airplane crash, every single person died, but two people survived. How is this possible?
6. Why is George Washington’s official birthday celebration held on February 22 when he was actually born on February 11?
7. A man left home running. He ran a ways and then turned left, ran the same distance and turned left again, ran the same distance and turned left again. When he got home there were two masked men. Who were they?

The Answers (no peaking!)

1. The year reads the same upside down
2. a sponge
3. a nickel, the dog costs $1.05
4. Johnny!
5. because they were married
6. The U.S. lost 11 days when they changed from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar during when Washington was alive. So Washington celebrated his birthday eleven days later to make it a year after his last birthday
7. The catcher and umpire

(Material courtesy of AzKidsNet)

Sometimes the pain of Gender Dysphoria just…hurts

The feeling of inside loneliness is so extreme you can’t even think sometimes. You feel like you simply aren’t there. It’s like your watching yourself move. You just wish that this strange background noise would go away and that you were just “here” or “present” again. Every attempt to cope comes with a bagfull of complications that makes the word “choice” almost absurd ; the trans-persons choices to cope are all pyrrhic.

Worse perhaps, your pain gets reflected onto your partner. Your partner; your damn best friend, becomes collateral damage. They start to hurt like someone abducted you and there was no note left behind. Just a cruel emptiness. The concept of the transgender person “still being there, just look on the inside of us” is simply not true. We aren’t there for them and we can’t even hardly be there for ourselves many times. Our partner’s feelings of helplessness to rescue us without destroying themselves makes their lives as nearly as unlivable as the transgender person’s becomes. Our partners just wish we were present again. They just wish we were here again.

Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.

(pink floyd, “wishing you were here”, 1975)

The latest report from Technorati shows that, as of November 2006 there were 57 MILLION blogs in existence with 100,000 new blogs being created per day. That’s alot of writing. Don’t you wonder if any of this matters?

As a writer I do wonder at times and I’m always happy when I find that something I wrote sparked a comment, made someone laugh, or cry, or think differently, or even opened up a conversation that wasn’t there before (whether I agree with the viewpoints expressed or not). It’s all good. I think I would still write even if I didn’t self-publish.

But sometimes don’t you wonder if any of this writing and self-publishing matters? Well I’m here to tell you it does. Check out these tidbits. I’m going to put some of the content from these news reports in my post because you never know when the report might come down. The common thread here is that these mere bloggers are being watched. Why are they being watched? Because people are reading their blogs, hearing their viewpoint and they are thinking.

• Egypt arrests another blog critic: Police in Cairo have detained a blogger whose posts have been critical of the Egyptian government. Rami Siyam, who blogs under the name of Ayyoub, was detained along with three friends after leaving the house of a fellow blogger late at night…In recent weeks, bloggers have been exposing what they say was the sexual harassment of women at night in downtown Cairo in full view of police who did not intervene. Mr Siyam’s host on Saturday night, Muhammad Sharqawi, was detained for several weeks earlier this year. (see the post for as long as it remains up at Natasha Tynes, “Mental Mahem” by visiting her story HERE.

• Egyptian blogger jailed for four years for insulting Islam: In a landmark case for freedom of expression in Egypt, a young blogger has been jailed for insulting Islam and President Hosni Mubarak, drawing angry condemnation at home and abroad.Abdel-Karim Nabil Suleiman, 22, a former law student at Cairo’s Al-Azhar University, was sentenced to four years in prison by a court in Alexandria yesterday after being arrested last November over eight articles he posted on his blog. (see the post for as long as it remains up at The Guardian, by visiting the story HERE.

• Bloggers Harassed by Authorities: The Southeast Asian Press Alliance (SEAPA) is raising concerns over what appears to be growing harassment of individuals who use online blogs to express views and share information in Malaysia. The IFEX member says the government’s policing of the Internet is reaching a critical stage that needs to be recognised and confronted by free expression advocates.In the past two months, three bloggers have been questioned by authorities for posting information on their personal web diaries. On 14 March 2005, Mack Zulkifli was questioned in his home by police officers and unidentified government officials who asked him to help them “understand the latest developments of weblogs,” according to the independent online news service Malaysiakini.com. (see the post for as long as it remains up at The International Freedom of Expression eXchange, by visiting the story HERE.

• French blogger harassed by right wing dynasty: A French blogger, Christoph Grébert, is going to court this afternoon to defend himself of accusations of defamation brought against him by the city of Puteaux, a wealthy suburb of Paris.His crime? Writing about what’s happening in his city, taking pictures of construction sites, and commenting on the latest city council (public) meetings. (see the post for as long as it remain up at The European Tribune, by visiting the story HERE.

So blogging, in fact writing, does appear to make a difference. Let’s hope that for every voice silenced 100 more spring up.

Women’s eNews has a wonderful op-ed piece on the differences in gender coverage that the news makes. It’s well worth a read and you can visit the Women’s eNews article, “Memo: Nancy, Hillary Are More Than Elected Moms”, here, but first a few snippets to whet your reading appetite:

After Nancy Pelosi’s historic election as Speaker of the House, the Washington Post described her as a “grandmother of five.”

The Post didn’t refer to her as a “20-year veteran of Congress,” which probably had more to do with her election.

Meanwhile, the Post described Harry Reid, the new Senate leader, as the “son of a hard-rock miner” with no mention of Reid’s 16 grandchildren.

Imagine how differently the story would read if it began “Pelosi, daughter of a mayor” and “Reid, grandfather of 16.”

And here’s another interesting quote to think about relative to how gender neutral is our news coverage from the article:

The Sunday after Pelosi’s inauguration, the New York Times’ feature opinion piece written by New Republic senior editor Ryan Lizza purported to question the Democratic strategy of electing a pack of new “alpha” male Democrats in Congress. But Lizza’s opinion takes as fact that strength and leadership are “masculine” traits, to be contrasted with the image of the Democrats as the weak “mommy party.”

The suggestion was clear that male is strong; female–used interchangeably with “nurturing”–is weak.

Not surprisingly the gender differences in news reporting have not escaped the mind of researchers (one gets the visual cue of a bespecklad gray haired woman in white trench coat, coke bottle glasses tight to her eyes as she pours through endless charts of numbers, sifting them for answers). In a report from Michigan State University dated July 15, 2004, “MSU researchers find gender bias in coverage of political races”, some interesting findings were revealed from examining media coverage of political campaigns in four states; Oregon, Michigan, Illinois, and Minnesota (the press release for the report is at MSU at this link here):

• Three quarters of stories citing nonpartisan sources cited only men, while 9 percent cited only women. The rest used at least one man and one woman.

• Female experts who were cited got fewer paragraphs for their assertions than males, a two paragraph average for males and less than half a paragraph for females.

• No female expert appeared in more than one story, while male experts appeared repeatedly.

Of course none of this tells us why this is happening just shows us it is happening. It’s a little beyond the scope (or budget) for the good barista’s here to froth up a full bore study but here’s a few thoughts that might pique your own thinking. Perhaps when women are seen as nurturing, their views on our personal lives, in a one-to-one session, are received as nurturing. However, in a more public venue perhaps they are not received nearly as much so because there is no perceived sense of threat or danger on the part of the male listener. If there is no threat of being usurped or dominated why worry and why pay much attention? In the case of other women, they may receive and trust another women’s views more so as part of mutually accepting and supporting each other.

Another view is the issue of how much women are perceived to have talked. They key here is “perceived”. In Deborah Tannen’s Book, “You Just Don’t Understand; Women and Men in conversations“. She notes on page 77 that, “Studies have shown that if women and men talk equally in a group, people think the women talked more”. Like it or not, it may be that men simply wrongly perceive that women have said enough. In their minds the reporting is indeed equal. When in fact it is not.

Bias in the media is alive and well to this day. How is your own listening, and accepting of what is said, towards men and women in your life. Do you filter what is said, or bias it yourself? Maybe the media bias will change when men realize that a women’s views on the world are indeed different but just as valid and normative as their own. When that day fully comes there may be a better perspective on the world reported for all our own benefit.

Virginia, who is completing her final year in a Masters in Social Work program at Smith College has launced a study of violence, stress and gender identity. She could use your help to fill out her data set. The best part? You can do it anonymously from your computer. So give it a go You can visit her site where the study is by clicking this link here. To go right to the study, you can click this link here. If you have any questions, you can email Virginia directly by way of clicking to her email address at … virginia@transstudy.com

Well it finally happened. No I didn’t win the Lottery or find the answer to where Waldo is. Nor did I invent a mascara that goes on with one stroke to create lashes instantly curled and thick as a kitten’s tail. Nope none of those.

But I did get invited to a wedding.

Ah weddings have to love them. Have you ever been to one?

The setting, the flowers, the dresses, the handsome groom, the pretty bride…the STRESS.

So my gal pal calls me and says, “hey, Becki, come to my wedding in Pennsylvania” and I said, “yeah sure, what species should I come as”.

She laughed; she knew what I meant.

“Well come as you”, she said, “I love you as you are, so come as you”.

And so that started the chain of events that led to my entering a fundamentalist church for the first time as me, hanging out with some cool people as me and getting my first drink bought for me. It was like spreading my wings and stepping from the nest and finding my wings worked.

who would know?

But first…the dress.

Scene I: The Dress
Once I was given the “all clear” to go to the wedding I became obsessed with what to wear. I mean, you don’t go to a wedding every day so you gotta wear something nice right? So I said, “heck with the budget, I’m going in style”. So I went to Chico’s, Lane Bryant (yeah I’m a thick chick), Dress Barn, Sears, Macy’s, Kohl’s, Models Resale, and found exactly…zippo. So I was pretty much in a panic. I started not my usual one hour ahead of time with that “deer in the headlights” look on my face showing up at Model’s Resale hoping my savior, Kimberly, would snap her fingers and make me gorgeous. Nope, I started 10 days ahead of time. That’s pretty good for me.

But the clock was ticking and I had……nuthin’.

So in desperation I called the bride to be (lucky girl!!)

“Can I wear black to your wedding” I asked, hope in my voice that a “yes” would give me some options I’d yet to consider at that point.

She paused and then said, “Black? Well I really would prefer if no one wore black to my wedding”.

My face dropped and panic instantly set in.

Not knowing what to do, I went in desperation to Walmart.

WALMART? They have fashion there? I had no idea. I was in a daze and sort of just wandered in there. But I was shocked to see they did indeed have something(s) for a woman like me. So I got the cutest black peasant skirt, a gold flecked maroon tunic and marched out. However, a good deal on some threads no more makes an outfit than a sow’s ear makes a purse.

Unless of course you accessorize…

ahhhh accessories…what would a girls life be without ‘em.

So in to see my friend Kimberly again. I showed her what I had.

She gave me her “thoughtful” look, hand on chin, mouth twitching. Then she said, looking at my threads hard trying to envision some visage of acceptability I might be able to attain.

“Well, everyone wears black at an afternoon wedding, I always do, you’ll be fine”. Then she pulled out a silk black shawl and gold earrings that were half moon shaped with small zirconia stones in them. My jaw dropped when I saw them. “Here, take these”, she said, “this will dress it up”.

Kimberly is the closest thing I have to a fairy God-Mother. I swear she has a wand in her handbag.

With the addition of a serpentine gold necklace she was right. I had an outfit that would blend into the wedding. For girls like me, blend is good. But I got way more than blended. Keep reading.

Scene II: Becki forgets how to drive
My friends who’ve braved a vehicle with me know that I am, at best, an average driver, and at worst a clear menace. My swerving to stay on a course of direction printed from Mapquest or Yahoo Maps is nothing short of a scene from some clown car derby.

So finishing work on a Friday I got my rump on the road and went to complete my shopping. First it was off to MAC for some refills, “oh your girlfriend will love these” the MAC person said to me as she handed me the items I’d chosen. I smiled my best Becki smile in boy mode, “Hey thanks, but these are for me I’m gonna love ‘em”. She looked at me, smiled, blinked twice and had a silly cartoon grin on her face like the one the coyote gets when the roadrunner drops an anvil on him, took my credit card and then wished me a good night.

So off I went 3 hours late but hey it’s only 6 hours to Pennsylvania and since I”m a night owl I figures that leaving at 10PM I’ll miss all the traffic AND I’ll get there by say 4AM, hit the hay get up at 10AM with two hours to get ready….

That was all well and good until four hours later, I looked up and realized I was in some part of NJ that was not on my map. I knew I was still in NJ due to the New Jersey State Police cars that seemed to be in abundance in this part of the state. But where? The fact my map was about 10 years old had nothing to do with it I’m sure.

So, not seeing anyone or anything in site, I made a u-turn and headed back to where I thought my last exit was supposed to be. I was, by some divine intervention, right.

So the girl pulls into in to her hotel at 10AM. 12 hours on the road. Hey I can do this on one hours sleep!

Scene III: The Wedding, The Drink, and The Girl who Learned to Fly
The wedding was beautiful. The bride was so beautiful I cried. The groom was so handsome I melted for my friend and thought, he’s such a catch, she’s so lucky. They look so beautiful together. My friend’s son was about as cute as can be. I would have taken him home in my pocketbook if I could have.

At the church a woman, sitting next to me, was choking up her lung. I mean she was HACKING. People were starring. So I got up to find some water for her. Figuring the kitchen was a good spot I sort of tiptoed in there.

A churchwoman halted me. “Why are you in here” she said to me suspiciously. “Well I need some water”, I said, confidently and hoping I didn’t get booted from the church, “a cup really, a woman sitting next to me is choking”.

“Oh, well just go the ladies room, we have some in there with cups”. She smiled at me. I smiled back. I felt normal. The woman got her water and was about as surprised someone had actually gotten her a glass of water as I had in being able to easily obtain one for her.

From there we headed over the reception with great mirth! Food was eaten, friends were made, smiles were smiled and pictures were taken. It was nice.

Then it happened.

I was at the bar and a man turned to me, smiled and said that I should try a Southern Comfort and Coke. He smiled again, then lingered looking into my eyes and said I’d really enjoy it. So I gave him my best Becki smile and said, “sure, that sounds like a great idea”. So he ordered one for me. Then he turned, taking his two cups to the table. One for him and one for his wife. The bartender smiled at me and poured me about the strongest and tastiest drink I’d ever had. Do bartenders do this for all the girls? The best part, the man who first saw me at the bar was looking over at me and smiled across the room at me as I showed him I had the drink and sipped it. Then he toasted me.

Then the girl learned to fly…

The blonde haired woman at my table said “Hey come catch the bouquet with me”. I said no, wiggled my wedding ring at her and mouthed to her, “I’m married”. And she smiled back at me, gave me a puzzled look and skipped off. I smiled too. I’d just learned to fly as me. It’s hard to put those feelings into words. Maybe it will never happen again - maybe I’ll go into the closet and cherish the day as one of those life highlights. But then again maybe I won’t. Maybe one day I’ll get to fly again.

Harvard University’s School of Public Health and the University of Athens Medical School released a startling study that should make us all wake up to the importance of SLEEP…ready?

Midday napping (siestas) reduced coronary mortality by about one third among men and women. The study appears in the February 12, 2007 issue of The Archives of Internal Medicine.

How’s that for a reason to get some well needed Zzz’s? In a nutshell, the researchers looked at 23,681 individuals living in Greece who, at the beginning of the study, had no history of coronary heart disease, stroke or cancer. The researchers then followed these people for 6 years. The researchers found that study participants who took regular naps, which they defined as napping at least three times per week for an average of 30 minutes, had a 37% lower coronary mortality than the participants who did not take naps. The effect was strongest among working men and weaker among retired men. Curiously, among working women there were too few death to be significant (perhaps women have much better work like balance than everyone thinks!). The researchers aren’t sure why napping three times per week for 30 minutes at a time has this effect but it may be related to being a sort of release valve for stressors in the body.

So, next time you want a health boost take a snooze. Being well rested may be this centuries secret miracle potion and it’s most sought after commodity.

(You can check out the press release at the Harvard School for Public Health at their web site HERE. You can see the original study by visiting the Archives of Internal Medecine by clicking HERE).

Here at Beck’s Cafe we’ve talked a little about Social Entrepreneurship before. But one thing we have not done is to give some bona fide examples of how it works. Examples can be great teachers for you to prime the pump of innovation and get your creative juices going.

But what is a Social Entrepreneur? In a nutshell, they are people that see problem and use their entrepreneurial energy to solve them. In another context they’d be investment bankers. But the problem they see energizes them and they take compassionate action.

The business magazine Fast Company has taken to honoring what they see as the top 25 on an annual basis. I haven’t seen the new list yet, but here’s last year’s list filled with visionary people who’ve decided to do something. How can you do something right where you are to help vexing problems you see in your community? Read this list for some inspiration!

For the full article, you can visit Fast Company at this link here.

The Top 25 Groups That Are Changing the World (from Fast Company, “25 Entrepreneurs Who are Changing the World, 2006“)