Internet breaks not builds friendships - what’s your take?

It’s a pretty common, yet cyclical theme to beat on the internet as the reason why some parts of our society is in decline. I don’t know this for a fact, but I’d bet a tray of my chocolate chip cookies that the telephone and TV were probably blamed for damaging some part of our society too. Any new technology that comes onto the scene is, generally, neutral in it’s effect on society. It’s how people use it that determines it’s impact whether positive or negative.

So it came as no surpise to me see a recent article in Network World magazine entitled, “Study: Internet partly to blame for your lack of close friends“. The study, as you might have read in the June 23rd, 2006 edition of Network World or as originally published in the American Sociological Review, was done by by sociologists at Duke University and the University of Arizona.

In the study, the researchers conclude that:

Increased use of the Internet, along with the number of hours people are spending at work, are factors contributing to a drastic decline in the number of close friends that Americans have.

I don’t think anyone would argue about the hours at work piece. With downsizing, rightsizing and efficiency re-work programs in place, more people do less work now than ever before (or the work gets pushed down to customers under the guise of automated customer service, see a sad example of that practice at this article I posted on that topic at this link HERE).

But the internet reducing person-to-person contact? Lets look at that again. The researchers note that, “New technology links people over greater distances, but cuts into face-to-face meeting time, the researchers said”. I’d have to say that all depends on the sub-community using the technology and how they are using it. Certainly the risk for people living holed up not seeing daylight exists and cases have been documented. But what about communities of people that are already isolated by society anyway?

In communities that are already isolated,(perhaps by geography, or in case of the transgender community, or perhaps autism, or other non-mainstream sectors of our society where person-to-person contact is very important for figuring out what is wrong then doing something about it), I would suggest that the internet acts as a strong bridge that can bring together people for person to person relationship building. I can only talk to my experience in the transgender community of course.

When I was first coming to grip with what was going on I didn’t know a single person or even where to turn to for help. I thought I was really in trouble. Well, after some snooping on the web I found out that not only wasn’t I as messed up as originally thought, there were others out there too. Relationships started on the net and soon grew to in person. Fears had to be conquered, “what if they don’t like me in person”? Then our groups of friends introduced each other to others and the snowball grew. Did I have to be careful? Sure, that’s the common sense approach to any relationship building where it starts in a relatively anonymous manner like the internet. But over time I learned who was real and who wasn’t and today I’m face-to-face friends with these and many others. All because the internet provided a bridge to others that didn’t otherwise exist.

So what is your experience?

(Brunel Bridge pic courtesy of didbygraham’s photo’s, used under Creative Commons license)