Creating Connections
“At the end of their lives, people never wished they’d spent more time at the office”. Well, how many times have you heard that one? And how many times did it impact you, cause you to pause a second to think, to reconsider what you were doing with your time. What I’ve found though is that as much as your heart intent, at that moment, is very real, the next step action is often either terrifying “what if they reject me?” or unknown. The internet “age” is a great thing. Hey I can publish right here at Beck’s Cafe and you, tea or latte in hand, can relax and read. Hopefully it’s at least entertaining! But there’s a drawback to this age we are in. It’s called isolation. True, the internet brings new connections with people we would not otherwise be connected to (and my life has been immeasurable enriched by such people whom I’ve only met through my blog, through their blog, or from online groups). But I personally love it when I can call a girlfriend up and then 60 minutes later we are sipping on Vietnamese soup and sharing our lives.
So a piece on Oprah’s website that was short and to the point, in slide show version, was a welcome read. Short on preaching and guilt and long on short practical reminders of what we all know to be true to keep relationships connected. I loved some of these snippets:
“No time for a family vacation? You can start connecting with loved ones by expressing your feelings more often…whether it’s with a big bear hug or a simple “I love you.” Cherish the quality time you have with your family and try to avoid petty disagreements. “
“Do you know the story behind your great-aunt’s secret recipe? Holidays are the perfect time to find out! Many families come together to celebrate major holidays and share foods that have been passed down from generation to generation. Ask your elders to share the stories behind your favorite family traditions and foods with the children at the dinner table. This helps instill a sense of family pride.”
Many of the suggestions apply to families. What if you don’t have a family? Well make one! A glib statement I know, but what I’m referring to is a family of friends, perhaps those who are also disconnected from their families who need to be with people instead of isolated and alone. You can reach the article on Oprah’s site at this link here.
(Photo used courtesy of Rat Ranch Photos, used under Creative Commons License)
This reminds me of a story told by a former boss. It seems he and his wife were travelling in Switzerland one Summer and he was approached by an older woman that he didn’t know. They struck up a conversation as they waited for breakfast. While he was busily describing the global business that he ran, she abruptly stopped the conversation and asked him “how old are you?” “60″ he replied. Well, she said, “You still have time”. He was taken aback by the comment as he didn’t follow. After a minute of silence he looked at her and asked “time for what?” “Time to make memories” she said as she departed.
You know, I knew that guy for almost 15 years. He was a brilliant, hard driving, unemotional, and totally consumed executive. Yet, that one brief encounter changed him forever. Shortly thereafter he retired and has spent the last 11 years touring the world with his wife and … finally making the memories that count.
Thank you for your wonderful story Sharon. It’s interesting to me how small incidents like that can suddenly change the course of our lives forever, for the good. They usually seem to come right at a time we least expect them and probably most need them. It seems like, to me, that it’s the tyranny of the urgent (or the fear of it?) that leads many of us away from building connections and the memories that count.