One of the questions I often hear is “how do I find a qualified therapist”. This is an important point as most therapists do not have experience or education in dealing with transgender patients. If you end up choosing such a therapist, you may find you spend more time educating your therapist about what your dealing with rather than getting the help you need. That’s a bad deal (unless you are charging them $150 per hour, then you have a good gig going). There are two things you need (1) a list from a qualified source and (2) references from people where you live…

Both of these will drive you mad if you are in the closet - which is where all of us generally start, wondering what is going on inside us
while finding our lives spinning increasingly out of control. Let’s talk about these two points as they are the critical first step to getting your going forward - which is what you must do. Generally speaking for most trans-folk, sitting back is not the best option.

Let’s take point (2) first then point (1) second (confused yet?). If you can get a suggestion from a live person, that is best. But, you
might not be able to get a reference from another trans-woman or trans-man if your in the closet; you simply won’t know anyone to ask and you might not even know where to begin. That’s where some chat lines and Yahoo groups can be invaluable since you can interact with real transgender men and women who’ve been there, done that and are in the midst of it. Generally speaking, a yahoo group that caters to transgender folks where you post a question are less intimidating than a chat line. Also, there are more transgender writers of blogs out there today and many of those authors are living, breathing people who more than likely will help you or give you some of their life’s knowledge if you ask them.

Now onto point (1) regarding a list of qualified sources. One of the best lists, perhaps the best, is done by Dr. Becky Allison, M.D.. Her list is sorted by state and country and is made up of referrals done to her by other trans-folk. You can reach it by clicking this link here. I started with her list when I had reached the literal end of my rope and knew that I had to start talking to someone. Another list that parallels Dr. Allison’s, though primarily targeted at New England, is Laura5’s resource site. You can reach her site at this link here.

What I did that may help you, is that I just randomly chose three - and then I prayed and hoped I’d find the right one who would take me seriously. It turned out I did not have to worry. My first call to my first therapist was met with someone who was heartfelt and made me feel like I was not insane. Those put me right at ease and opened a little door to my closet that had been pretty much closed and locked up to that point. I put things a bit backwards and actually found out later that other trans people I had met and become friends with used my therapist. That was a nice confirmation but likely would have been better had I found out up front.

And don’t be afraid to try out one or two or three till you find the right one. You are the consumer here. These are your dollars your spending and your health you are dealing with. I started with one who was outstanding for me, but, my spouse did not click with that therapist, so off to look for another. The second one was a good fit for us both.

Many insurance plans will cover your talking to a psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker who specialized in gender issues, but, here’s the catch, you will likely have to ask your therapist to report it as depression. Frankly, such a diagnosis will not be very far from the truth anyway for many of us since depression is a symptom of Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID). And, it will more easily be covered by your insurance and, be less likely to cause someone to wonder what is going on with you as your medical bills are filed and paid for by you or your insurance.

Some additional resources that may be of help to you and well worth reading on this topic:

• How to tell if your therapist sucks like a bilge pump? Click for this story here

• Andrea James @ TS Roadmap with advice on therapy: Click for this story here

• A Teen’s Guide to Choosing a Therapist:  Click for this story here.

4/14/2008 Update
Diane Ellaborn, LICSW, a well respected gender therapist in Massachusetts, wrote an excellent article to help teens choose a therapist.  We’ve included it above under “A Teen’s Guide to Choosing at Therapist”.

4/1/2007 Update
The site, Laura5, has been permanently disabled by the owner.

I’m not talking about slathering on your body some wonderful, chocolate confection, rather, how about a wonderful chocolate perfume It sounds too good to be true, so I’m going to have to order a bottle for the sniff test. And you can join in the fun by clicking on this link here, to see (or rather) smell for yourself.

Well we never DID catch glimpse of the Asiatic munching mauler nor even snap a picture. With Winter nye upon us, no blooms will be in jeopardy, that’s for sure.

Next year we’re considering a wall… this wall here looks promising; good to withstand winds of 100MPH (or 160.934 km/hr for our European and Canadian readers) I’m certain THAT will keep our culprit out.

What makes her story different is that she’s the first Mormon I’ve ever read about who’s transitioned. Her story sounds like many of ours who are trans (whether Male-to-Female or Female-to-Male). But her being a part of the Mormon church is an interesting piece that is well worth reading. Sadly, she was ex-communicated. This is also a common theme among many of us who are transgender and belong to a faith community of some type. Generally speaking, we get the axe. I’m not sure why this is. If one were a Christian, say, then decided that Christianity was simply groundless and then committed to preach a different alien gospel in that church body, well that would certainly be grounds for expulsion. But, to try and be a healthy whole person, follow the teachings of Christ, and then be tossed? Quite a puzzlement.

The article is entitled “The Future of Shopping” and it’s a bit much even for diehards who shop for a deal like I do. It’s too bad it’s not on-line as it’s way to hard for me to rewrite it here, let me post some excerpts…

Need some comfort in you time of sorrow? According to the article:

Shopping has become a legitimate social activity, supplying the comfort that church and community once provided.

Okay I knew we were a shallow people, but I had no idea we’d reached such a low such that shopping would take the place of actually hanging out with friends!!

What, you say your local shops are too limited to help you? According to the article:

Outside Montreal, a 1,900,000-square-foot, $350-million megamall is now being developed by Ralph Stahl…When Lac Mirabel
opens in 2007 it will encompass Canada’s largest indoor aquarium, an artificial lake, a marina, a roller coaster, a food emporium, a recreational park, and, oh yes, many stores.

HOLY COW!!! I wonder if they’ll introduce wildlife too, to make the whole artificial experience that much closer to reality?

Are you, um, really, really attached to your shopping?

On Chicago’s Magnificent Mile, surrounded by beauty products in Sephora, she [Jessica Johnson] sat down by the fragrance counter and wept. “It seemed like anarchy to me” says Johnson…Johnson returned to Toronto determined to make sense of
her emotional outburst. Shopping she concluded in “The Good Shopper” (Penguin), to be published next month, is a means of finding ourselves.

I just thought it was a way for me to find a good deal, or a hot dress. I’ll tell you, I’ve been to Sephora and the only thing that made me weep about it was how it impacted my credit card at the end of the month

Albert Swank Jr., a 55-year-old civil engineer in Anchorage, Alaska, is a man with a mission. He wants to install a nuclear particle accelerator in his home.

See story at this link here

While many of us may want to totally forget about these parts of us, we still have prostate’s and, we can get cancer and die from it.   See these links here for more help and happy reading:

Dr. Rebecca Allison’s Blog Post on Prostate Health
WebMD on Prostate Health
MedLine on Prostate Health

**UPDATE 12/22/2005**
Study finds that lifestyle and diet changes may stop or reverse prostate cancer progression.  See that study by clicking here.

Ingredients

1 lb of fresh string beans (also known as green beans - depending on where you live)
4 whole eggs
1 Tablespoon (T) Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/4 cup Feta Cheese
1 to 2 teaspoons (t) of Garlic Powder

How to do it

Place the 4 eggs in a medium pot that has been filled 1/2 way with cold water. Turn the burner on and bring to a boil, then boil till hard-boiled, about 10 or so minutes. When the eggs are hard boiled, take the eggs in the pot off the stove, then rinse in cold water, let them cool while you make the rest of the meal.

While the eggs are boiling, prepare the string beans by cutting the tips off either end of the green beans, then placing them in a large pot that you’ve put about 1 cup of water into. Once you’ve cut the tips off all the sting beans, and placed them into the pot, cover the pot and steam lightly. You should be able to reach that point by turning the stove top on medium then cooking them about 10 minutes or less. You don’t want to overcook them, but you don’t want them crunchy either. They should feel fresh when you bite into one, but not overcooked. When the string beans are cooked take them out of the pot and place them on a large serving plate. I love blue in my cafe, but pink, purple, red, or any color you like would be just fine

With the string beans down on the plate, dribble 1T of extra virgin olive oil over the top of the string beans. Then, sprinkle 1 to 2 teaspoons of the garlic powder on top of the green beans. When you’ve done that, sprinkle 1/4 cup of feta cheese on top of the green beans. Finally, peel the eggs, slice, and place around the bed of prepared green beans.

While you could eat this right away, it tastes best when you let this cool at room temp for about 10 minutes or so. If you have time to further cool it in the fridge for about 15 minutes, the taste is enhanced, but it’s really good at room temperature too.

Serve with a glass of chilled white wine or ice water and you are in for a wonderful delight!

Serves 2 as a main dish, or 4 as a side dish.
Calories per person is about 300.
If you’ve got a little issue with cholesterol, just take the egg yolks out.
Takes about 30 minutes to make.

What is the Halfbakery?

The halfbakery is a communal database of invention and speculation. Its users can publish inventions and add links and commentary to other people’s inventions.

Then I put this song on, and sang, and life, was better…

Say to those who are fearful hearted,
Do not be afraid
The Lord your God is Strong
And with His mighty arms
When you call out His Name
He will come and save

He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Say to the weary one
Your God will surely come
He will come and save you

He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Lift up your eyes to Him
You will arise again
He will come and save you

Say to those who are broken hearted
Do not lose your faith
The Lord your God is strong
With His loving arms
When you call on His name
He will come and save

(repeat chorus)

He is our refuge in the day of trouble
He is our shelter in the time of storm
He is our tower in the day of sorrow
Our fortress in the time of war

(repeat chorus 2x)

Lift up your eyes to Him
You will arise again
He will come and save you
Lift up y our eyes to Him
You will arise again
He will come and save you

(He Will Come & Save You, Bob Fitts & Gary Sadler, 1995, Integrity Hosanna! Music/ASCAP)

Okay, these little wonders rock, so I had to blog about them.  They slip over any kind of shoe!  So heels, flats, whatever.   They are small and can easily fit into a purse, tote bag or briefcase, and they work!   Nice when the streets are slippery, just slip these over your toe and a gripping you go!

TRANSAMERICA has won numerous festival prizes, including awards for best film at the Berlin Film, San Francisco’s Frameline festival and the Woodstock Film Festival, and the award for Best  Screenplay at France’s 2005 Deauville Festival of American Film.

It’s not so much a movie about being transexual, it’s really about being a person, and about life; being trans just happens to be one little facet of the main character, that’s all.

Check out the reviews at this link –> here

To see how the four above are connected, please read on kind reader

Seeing the above links got me thinking about
technology and how it can be used to help us, not harm us.   The quote
from the movie "The Rock" came to mind too, when Dr. Stanley Goodspeed
(played by Nicholas Cage) is asked what he knows about VX gas he says
soberly "it’s one of those things we wish we could un-invent."   But
does technology always result in something horrible for the human
race?    That’s a rhetorical question of course, since we know it
doesn’t (anti-lock brakes, the MRI, and penicillin come to mind)

What’s really fascinating here is not some bizarre borg-like development of humans, but, the actual good use of technology to help
people who truly need it.   In this case, soldiers, both men and women,
sent to war and, in the midst,  facing the effects of having a limb
destroyed or blown off as a result.  The trauma must be incredible,
both physically and psychologically.   The co-developments in robotics
and prosthetics, looks as though it’s moving to a new phase where those
damaged could really be helped, in a big way.

Macleans is Canada’s premiere monthly magazine and a great read.   I live in the U.S.A., but with friends in Canada, it’s hard not to peruse their periodicals from time to time to see how life is with our Northern neighbor. 

Among my friends is "Sally", one of the people written about in the story at the link above.  I am very proud to know her.  She is a personal inspiration to me, and to others.  Pull up a mug of cocoa and read the story at the link above to learn a bit about her, and about being transgendered in Canada.