What’s really been rattling my brain is acceptance.  Self-acceptance, if your different.  And especially if your transgendered.  Self-acceptance is the number one issue.  I thought I had vanquished this dragon until I engaged in some very meaningful dialog with some trans-folk at an email group I’m a part of run by the very talented Lacey Leigh. 

As Lacey states it, so rightly in words I cannot, she says "The
greatest hurdle with being transgendered is self acceptance; once that
is achieved, everything else falls into place".   The equally gifted
Andrea James, on her site TS Roadmap, states it as well.  "Self-acceptance and coming to terms with your feelings
  are the first order of business in transition. If you are not emotionally
  grounded from the onset, you are going to have a difficult transition. Transition
  is a minor issue in comparison to self-acceptance".

As for me, I had thought that I’d have accepted or at least come to
terms with being transgendered.  I would have thought by now that I’d
be completely self-accepting.   But if the definition of self-accpeting
is loving ourselves  & accepting ourselves the way we are, then, I
don’t think I’m there yet.  I’ve got a ways to go it appears.  I’ve
traveled all over the world and seen many things in life, but, it
appears, I’ve not traveled to my own heart to see what’s there and the
work I need to do in accepting who I am as a transgendered person. 

I’m not sure exactly what that means,
but, I think it has to do with loving myself as much as I’d love
someone else.  I think it means giving myself room to be me, and
in that knowing and trusting that I won’t become this self-centered
shrew hoarding what she has till the last day.   The funny
thing is, in those moments when I’ve accepted myself the most, I’ve
been freer to give away the most.

some links that are helping me:
The
journey to self-acceptance

Self
Acceptance at TS Roadmap

The
Successful Crossdresser

Changing your self-image

Self-esteem what does the Bible Say?