As many of our readers know, we’ve been doing some follow up on the Christine Daniel’s suicide story.  You can read our past coverage at “Christine Daniels, LA Times Sports Writer, dead, suicide suspected” and “Christine Daniels, LA Times Sports Writer Suicide: Follow Up Story

The reason we’ve been following this is because her death was so unnecessary.  Well we’ve got more follow up.   Christine’s Church, MMC L.A., held a memorial service for her in January 2010.  The interview done by Autumn Sandeen of MMC L.A.’s Reverend Dr. Neal Thomas sheds a little more light on Christine and how she felt about herself after she transitioned.   You can check the story out at Pam’s House Blend; MMC L.A. Memorial Service For Christine Daniels

Beck’s Cafe wishes to congratulate Boston’s own Grace Sterling Stowell for her being honored with the 2010 Sue J. Hyde Activism Award for Longevity in the Movement.   She received the award for her being, “an activist and leader in the social justice and LGBT communities for more than 35 years.”

Grace is the Executive Director for BAGLY, the Boston Alliance of Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgender Youth.  BAGLY provides “weekly and monthly social activities and special events for people ages 22 and under. These activities provide an opportunity for youth to socialize, have fun and develop a sense of personal and community identity.”

So congratulations Grace and thank you for your work leading BAGLY to help so many GLBT youth in Greater Boston!

Janet Beckers is the host and founder of Wonderful Web Women, an award-winning on-line community recognized for generous and honest marketing advice for women on the internet.  So when she writes an article entitled, “How to Build an Internet Business that Will Last” you have to sit up and take a little notice over that wonderful mocha cappuccino you are savoring.  She’s got some interesting thoughts that are worthy of consideration.  Here’s an outline:

  1. Start with a Blog:  Basically, start to get your presence on the internet; your “spot” so to speak.  Here at Beck’s Cafe we’ve found that focusing on an area of your specialty or that you might be passionate about helps that blog be more alive and compelling to visitors; like a cute specialty shop in Cambridge you might visit regularly because it has just what you want.
  2. Collect Emai Addresses:  Janet notes that only 1% of everyone who visits your fledgling business will purchase anything.  So telling people, in a respectful and hopefully engaging manner, what’s going on with your new baby business is important.  In my experience with internet marketing, this has to be opt-in, in other words, let visitors decide if they want in or not to your mail list.
  3. Give before you receive:  Janet reminds us that when someone provides you their email address they are generally trusting  you not to spam them.  So give your new followers something of value.  In other words, enhance their life somehow.  On the internet, reputation is the coin of the realm
  4. Ask your subscribers what they want: Do a simple survey in other words.  Tools like Survey Monkey are free or low cost and do a good job.
  5. Dazzle them with your knowledge:  Janet tells us that now that you know who your readers are (from their email addresses) and what they need (from the survey) start to directly answer those needs and add value to your visitors
  6. Keep In Touch:  You don’t want to spam your readers, but  you do want to let them know what’s cooking at your site.   Just as Kohl’s or Target keeps you in the know with their weekly circulars about their stores, so too you can let others know what’s happening with yours.
  7. The 80/20 Rule:  For every 20% of the time you pitch your wares or knowledge on-line, 80% of the time give value for no charge.  Enhance people’s lives regularly.  We all only go around once after all!
  8. Encourage a 2-way relationship:  You may not realize it, but, even as you read this, you and I are engaging in a 2-way relationship.  Your thinking this article is really rubbish whilst you sip your coffee or you the germ of a new idea for a new business is taking shape.  In either case, it’s two way.   And that’s what you want in your business.  Note a faceless entity but a two way street of conversation.

Janet has more to share and so we’d encourage you to click on over to her article at MarketLikeAChick.com by clicking to her article, “8 Steps to Build an Internet Business That Will Last

“We support people doing awesome things in the world. Every month we give out a grant”

With a tag line like that, The Awesome Foundation sounds pretty awesome all right.  Basically, the Awesome foundation provides small seed capital and space for small start ups to do their thing.  The small grant, $1000, gets you going, the location, gives  you space to do it in.

Pretty neat stuff.

Got an awesome idea?  Why not pitch it at The Awesome Foundation and see how it flies!

For those who can free up the time, today is Massachusetts Transgender Equality Lobby Day. The event is led by MTPC and runs from 2PM-5PM. Participants will meet at Nurses Hall in the Massachusetts State House.

You get more details at MTPC’s announcement here:
http://www.masstpc.org/legislation/lobbyday10.shtml

The importance of todays lobbying effort is that our transgender equality bill is stuck in the MA judiciary commitee and needs a little push. If you can’t attend today (as I cannot) an email or call to your representative would help too.

Harvard Business Review is about the most conservative of business journals.  Known for excellent writing and with useable information, their voice carries weight.  This is true for management practice and for dealing with the issue of having a transgender employee transitioning in the workplace.

The December 2008 issue of the Harvard Business Review features a case study, “When Steve Becomes Stephanie” in which they cover the issue of an employee in gender transition.  The intro is free but the actual study is $6.50 and downloadable from HBR.

Dr. Jillian Weiss, who was the keynote speaker at First Event Transgender Conference, has a nice review of the case study and some additional thoughts as well.  You can see her take at The Bilerico Project: “December Harvard Business Review Features “When Steve Becomes Stephanie

At Beck’s Cafe we covered an earlier note about gender transition at Harvard Business Review, you can click to that write up here at Beck’s Cafe at the article, “Harvard Business Review and Transgender Workplace Issues

Martha Carlson, an executive coach for women, writing in Sales and Marketing Magazine, has a great piece on:

Leading women: The women who rise to the top of your organization in the coming years may have a few things in common.

She has a list of characteristics that women (and really men too) will need in place in our own lives to be effective at leading at work; how many of these characteristics ring true?

  • Authenticity: Martha defines this as a woman, “Being self-aware and doing something about it. This trait allows a woman to understand at a very base level her strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears.”  And then taking this trait and leveraging it into her life at work.
  • Fearlessness: Martha feels this trait is the opposite of being fearful.  She further notes that those who act out of fear act in an unbalanced way that compromises our ability to be effective.  Fearless women focus on what they want to achieve and very often achieve it.
  • Focus: Here Martha tosses aside the notion that as women, we have an unlimited ability to multi-task and be equally effective across all our tasks.   Martha says that such practices must stop and that only focus will result in achieving the results we want in our lives.
  • Energy:  Finally Martha points out the to do anything women need to take care of themselves, “working longer hours, compromising sleep, and depleting our wellness. We must know and attend to what brings us energy in the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual sense.”

Four very interesting characteristics women will need for the coming years.  If you’ve got any coffee left in your mug, mouse on over to the full article at Sales and Marketing Magazine by clicking to  “Leading Women

Linda, at A&A Laser, Electrolysis and Skin Care is my hair removal savior.  She’s been zapping and electrocuting me for some time and anything she does to me, beats my hair removal horror of 2006.   But aside from the loving torture I so willingly subject myself too she always has the light touch too with facials.

A&A, in Newton MA, is offering Express Facials now, for a limited time, for $30 for 30 minutes!   I asked what the catch was and here’s the details on what they’ll do for your face:

  • Cleanse
  • Tone
  • Moisturize
  • Exfoliate
  • Teach you how to take care of your skin

For $30 that’s a great deal.   If you make an appointment, please tell them Becki sent you.   Beck’s Cafe doesn’t make any money from this and you won’t get a better deal than the $30, but it’ll be nice for her to know that some of us do really listen to her suggestions to take care of our skin!

We had so much fun and learned so much at First Event 2010. About ourselves and about each other. I hugged till my arms hurt, smiled till my cheeks cramped, and loved the pink cloud and blue bedrock of our community. So many highlights it’s hard to process them all. But now that the party is over and we all get back to other priorities a let down can sometimes happen. This is true particularly if you’re newly out of the closet and if First Event was your first or among your first public venues.

You might get bummed as the days progress this week. So here are some tips others have found that can help make life a little less gray.

(1) Look: Did you get a photo of yourself at FE10? Not a glam photo per se, just any photo while you were presenting as you. Look at yourself. It’s not narcissistic it’s like looking at a mirror. Sometimes, when our inside and outsides don’t match and your feeling dysphoric, looking at a photo of yourself can be a nice reminder that who you are inside is who you are outside. This can be a real help for you to get your feet on the ground.

(2) Chat: Friends. You need ‘em and you need to talk with them. Rekindling the memories can be extremely helpful to laugh and get life back on the lighter side when you feel blue as you get further away from your fun and meaningful time at First Event. So chat with your friends DO NOT go back into a shell or into your closet. This is not healthy for you. Virtually, you can chat at TCNE’s Yahoo Group or another good place is at Pink Essence on their terrific chat line.  The Transgendered Planet is another good one.  These are very safe spaces. Talk on the phone with someone you exchanged phone numbers with.  Process your feelings! You need it.

(3) Plan: Your next time out. That’s right. You need to get out and see people. There are many transgender conferences both small and large throughout the U.S.  TCNE’s “TG Conference List” is updated monthly for you to find a conference close to you. And there is likely a support group near you in your own city or town or within an hour or two so you can go out and feel safe and not exposed.  Tiffany Club, the sponsors of First Event, would welcome you if you can make it to their offices in Waltham, MA.  But if they are too far away, IFGE is a great resource to find such places and TCNE has a list as well.

(4) Give: Give back; that’s right, even if it was your first time out you can give back to move forward causes that effect others. And in doing so you give yourself a big emotional boost, banish those blues and help others. What a triple play! There are many transgender rights actions happening all around us, from the national ENDA bill to Massachusetts Transgender Civil Rights Bill (H.1728/S1687). There are many womens issues you could involve yourself in as well, from helping those who are the victims of domestic violence, to womens health issues, to women in shelters (many times with their children). Finally, are there any other trans-persons near you who are homeless or out of a job or who knows what? Reach out to them in some way to help them out. We may not always agree with each other, but we do need to support each other.

This isn’t fantasy, it’s your life..so live it, have fun and if you get the blues, remember to LOOK – CHAT – PLAN – GIVE!

Today is day two of First Event Transgender Conference!   I’ll be there today and Saturday and hope to meet some of our readers, friends, frenemies and other assorted cast of characters.  By way of disclaimer, I’ve been on the planning committee for First Event for the past three years and this year I’m in an advisory role/webmistress.   I might actually get to see a few workshops over the next two days  :)

And, for those of you interested in this topic, at 11Am I’ll be speaking, along with Gunner Scott, Michelle Madison and Paula Howard on Transgender Rights on a panel called, “The Unlikely Activist”.

Also, if you are not going to the Fashion Show, come join me, Arjay, Michelle, Nancy, Paula, Jamie, and a host of others for an informal community dinner in the Marriott’s Restaurant!  We’d love to have you at our table.